How to Keep Children Safe, Part 1: Public Places

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kres.peachschools.org

[Editor’s note: This is a 6-part series regarding my views and plenty of common sense on how to keep your children safe in a dangerous world. It is generally geared toward children 12 and under. I hope it helps you.]

This last Saturday we took our kids (along with nieces and nephews who ranged from age 3 to 12) to a local indoor water-park called Coco Key. Because it’s a very busy and public place I got to thinking about what I naturally do to better prepare my children for the experience. While they’re thinking about splashing around and having a blast, I’m thinking about keeping them safe, exits, and strangers! So, I thought I would share a few things that we did and what went through my mind. Obviously, most of this should be common sense for you as a parent but it never hurts to be reminded.

As with anything a good prepper does, it’s starts with planning and prevention. In this case, it’s about laying a good ground-work for your expectations of your children. Sure, you’ve probably given them the same speech a thousand times over but the one time you didn’t they’ll most certainly use that as their excuse for why they didn’t do what you expected.

As such, you should set you expectations beforehand. In our case, it was things like you’re expected to be wither another person at all times, younger kids with an adult, older kids with each other, etc. This is probably something they’ll do naturally but I like to ensure everyone understands. Some might call this the “buddy system” and is a great way to make sure each child feels responsible for the other one.

Though I didn’t bother to do so for this outing, it couldn’t hurt to have the “stranger danger” talk. Looking back, the place was VERY busy with tons of people everywhere so  I probably should have said something to my boys (as well as the other kids) but I didn’t.

We also made sure the kids knew where out meet-up place was (a specific table) so that if they were to get separated then they could come back to that spot. If you have very young children then it’s probably best to teach them not to panic and run around trying to find you but that YOU will find THEM. In other words: STAY PUT! Once they get a bit older then a meet-up spot is a good idea.

It might also be wise to take a quick photo with your smartphone that day so you can describe to others what you kid looks like and, more importantly, what they’re wearing OR dress them in something that really stands out such as that bright orange shirt you bought and thought was so cute that little Jimmy just refuses to wear. 😉

I also made sure they knew that if for some reason nobody arrived at our designated meet-up spot then they can and should got to a specific place to ask the people who worked there for help (and explain uniforms they will be wearing) and NOBODY else… not even if they offered because, while 99.9% of people are probably well-meaning, it’s the 0.01% that you can’t trust. Teach your kids the actions you want them to take.

While I’m thinking about it, I did take a moment in the beginning to point out where the exits were. I know this is something the kids probably glossed over but I feel better that they are (1) aware that there are more exits other than the main entrance that we came through and (2) recognize that if there is a real reason to get out, such as a fire, then they have the permission and expectation to get out on their own rather than to run around looking for me or another adult that was with us.

Although we didn’t have our cell phones on us (because we were swimming) it’s always wise to ensure children know at least one cell phone number that they can relay to an adult so they can contact us if it ever came to that need. Though I’ve never done so myself, I’ve heard of people actually “tagging” their children with something that contains the parent’s cell phone number such as with a luggage tag attached to a belt loop. Maybe this idea would work great for very young children.

What about leashes for your very young kids? I’ve never felt like my children were pets so I can’t say how well they work but I would imagine there’s a stage in life that they might come in handy. By the way, have you ever seen a cat on a leash before? Do a YouTube search for “cat on leash” or “cat on leash goes crazy”… it’s hilarious if you ask me.

Again, proper public safety is about setting the expectations, having the constant conversations even though you’ve done it a thousand times before, and then eventually trusting your kids to do what you expect.

If you have your own suggestions feel free to share them below…


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Comments

4 responses to “How to Keep Children Safe, Part 1: Public Places”

  1. Dark Space

    I don’t disagree that we should make our kids situationally aware, cautious when appropriate, and well versed in common sense self-identification such as knowing their address, phone numbers, and frankly how to get home. However, I work very hard to undo all the “stranger danger” attitudes that are impressed upon our kid at school and by other parents. If someone is trying to hurt you, yes, hurt them back and/or escape – but most people are not trying to hurt you. The day they covered the stranger danger video at her school, she tried it out with ME, in a grocery store (and we have different last names and her mother was in China). Fortunately I got her quiet and everyone ignored her…

    We are creating a nanny state for our kids where they’re unable to make their own decisions, unable to experience life, and think every guy between 30 and 60 is trying to molest them. It’s really disappointing in my opinion. At our house, starting around age 8, she could cook a pot of spaghetti on the stove (assisted. by 10, unassisted), ride her bike as far as she wanted to visit friends (about 2 miles) even though many of them couldn’t come out to play unless supervised, knows to seek help from adults if there is danger or problems (guess what, they probably aren’t going to kidnap you and eat your eyeballs – most adults will help out a kid in need), earns and saves her own money, and is just as comfortable in our small town climbing a tree as she is walking across the street in Manhattan.

    In your second installment, you note that we’re trying to prevent the 0.01% of incidents – you can’t do that. I’d argue you try to prevent the 95% by giving them the freedom to learn from the unexpected and the guidance to help them deal with it. I agree with most of your article, mind you, and I need to do better about giving her more knowledge and opportunities to experience the world too, but anytime I see “stranger danger” I immediately cringe. It reminds me of the story of the little girl who got dropped off at the wrong school bus stop, but was so scared to ask any of the potentially “dangerous strangers” walking by for help, that she stood there well after dark when the parents had started scouring the neighborhoods for their lost child.

    1. Maybe I’m a little more over-protective than I should be, who knows. Ultimately, you’re responsible (just as I am with mine) to teach our children our views on life. I think the “strager danger” has gone a little overboard and, yes, stories like the girl you mention point out where the conversation has gone wrong or too far. That said, I’m still going to occasionally remind my kids that “bad people” are out there and that they should be cautious because it one takes ONE time. Obviously, the chances of that ONE time happening to your kid have to be remarkable small.

      As to your comments about “trying to preven the 0.01% of incidents – you can’t do that”… well, I would suggest that’s a large part of what prepping is all about. 99.9% of the time nothing bad will ever happen, the kids will be just fine, your house won’t burn down, they won’t decide to ingest any poison, etc, but it’s our job, as parents, to take that extra step to ensure that doesn’t happen.

      Oh, and you’ll enjoy my fourth article (next Monday) on “stranger danger.” Maybe you’ll be able to offer a different viewpoint.

  2. Great article! Child training has always been important but as the days get stranger, the more important it is. We have consistently practiced the “wait for us to find you” rule. If the child waits in an open, center of attention type of spot it is not only easier for you to see them but if an undesirable should attempt wayward behavior the other 99.9% are there to witness / stop it. Most abductions happen away from spectators.

    1. I’m not sure if I made that point or made it very clear (to stay in plain sight where everyone can see them) so thank you for re-iterating that fact.

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