[Editor’s note: This is a 6-part series regarding my views and plenty of common sense on how to keep your children safe in a dangerous world. It is generally geared toward children 12 and under. I hope it helps you.]
I always look forward to sending my kids off to school (is that wrong?) because it means a good 8 hours that they’re someone else’s problem! Ok, they’re not THAT bad and, in fact, are actually pretty good kids. Of course, even when they’re at school I occasionally wonder how they’re doing and worry about their safety. Certainly, tragedies like Sandy Hook bring up child safety at schools in the worst way but there’s more to it than that.
In my opinion, it starts with getting to school. If your children are car-riders then there probably isn’t much to worry about as you likely drop them off right at the front door. If, on the other hand, they need to walk or take the bus then there’s more to consider.
If they walk or ride a bike then their age with respect to the route they take needs to be considered. Are there busy streets, bad neighborhoods, narrow alleyways, stray dogs, or mean old ladies houses? Obviously, my parents wouldn’t have trusted me to get myself to school across the nearby very busy street when I was 6 but at age 12 (or whenever it was) that was acceptable. And, of course, ensure you children know how to obey traffic signals if they need to know.
Moreover, does the route your child take involve “hidden” or potentially “dangerous” spots? I’m thinking of places where they might not be highly visible to others such as alleyways or shortcuts that remove them from the “beaten path” if you will. In some cases these routes are preferable but I simply ask that you have a clue as to how and where they travel. Maybe even walk the route once or twice with them to be sure. With all that in mind, it might be a good idea to encourage your child to walk to and from school with a friend or sibling, you know, safety in numbers.
I might also suggest that time of day is a concern, depending on whether or not your children have before and/or after school activities that might require them to travel when it’s dark. Consider adjusting your schedule if you can to ensure they make it there safely or have them check in when they get to where they’re supposed to be. And have a plan for what will you do if they didn’t check in.
Now, what about the bus? Our kids ride the bus and the best part is the bus actually stops in front of our house to get them so they’re not walking to a nearby bus stop. Fortunately, most school districts seem very cognizant of the desire not to have children walk a long distance to get to a bus stop but, again, know how your child gets to the bus stop regardless.
Likewise, it seems that most school districts are pretty good about controlling behavior while on the bus but I’m sure there are plenty of exceptions. What to do if your kid has problems? It always starts with being aware of the problem, from ensuring you know, the bus driver, even the school, if need be. Granted, as the kids get older they will be less likely to tell you if they’re having trouble but it can’t hurt to ask on occasion. How was the bus ride? Who did you sit with? What did you talk about? Any problems I should know about?
What about at school?
Well, bullying situations are a start. Talk to your child about their day. Ask what they did. Probe a bit. Then, if there is a problem, talk to their teacher, counselor, principal, or whomever to help with the situation or at least to keep an eye on it. And, of course, teach your child to stay away from situations where these problems can occur, ensure that they can be seen by an adult as often as possible (such as on the playground), and eventually to stick up for themselves if absolutely necessary.
With respect to their safety from disasters, it’s up to the school to develop those plans but it can’t hurt to (1) know what those plans are and (2) give your child additional “guidance” as you see fit. Sometimes schools are secretive about their emergency preparedness plans due to “security concerns” but if you ask specific questions like “what’s the plan if a tornado is heading this way” then you’re more likely to get an answer. If not, get snotty… but in a concerned parent sort of way. 😉 Because, after all, it’s your kid’s safety that they’re responsible for and you want to know that their plans are adequate and acceptable to meet said responsibility.
As for the extra “guidance,” well, that’s one for you to figure out. I’m not saying you should tell your child to overtly ignore or countermand your school’s plans but if their plans do not meet your expectations then teach your child what those expectations are.
Now, what about the scariest situation we can think of, that being an active shooter? This is a tough one. On the one hand you want to believe that your school will do what they need to do to keep your child safe. Unfortunately, however, history has shown this just isn’t very likely. As such, it’s incumbent upon you to drill into your child’s head precisely how they should react to such a situation. (Personally, I have failed in this respect and need to do this myself.) If that means doing exactly what their teacher says (such as to hunker down in their classroom) or to blatantly ignore them and run at the first chance they get, then do as you see fit.
This might sound like I’m telling you to teach your kids to run regardless of what their teacher says, but that’s not true at all. Sure, there are times where this action might make the most sense but there are also times when it may not. For example, if your child’s classroom really does utilize very solid doors and locking system for this specific purpose then perhaps hunkering down is the best option. On the other hand, if your child is in the playground and such a situation occurs then perhaps the best course of action is to run away as fast as possible? That’s assuming that the playground isn’t completely fenced in, of course.
I should point out that a lockdown order is for far more than just active shooter situations. My brother-in-law (who is a teacher) says that they would only get issued a lockdown order but not be given the details. As such, the reason for lockdown could very well be something like a rabid dog and NOT an active shooter that you think you’re preparing your child for. And, of course, many people cannot recognize what a gun shot actually sounds like, especially children. So, I’m saying be very careful with countermanding teacher’s orders.
Ultimately, you’re responsible for your child’s safety whether or not they’re at school. Teach them how to react and what you expect. Role play, talk about it, or whatever works for you… you’ll never be disappointed that you’ve taught your child to think for themselves but I would imagine that you will forever blame yourself if something tragic did happen, especially if it could possibly have been averted if your child had been taught to obey your expectations and think on their own.
If you have your own suggestions feel free to share them below…
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